8 things I wish I knew before going to Labour

Ok so I know I am not the first person to have a baby and I don’t about you but I was somewhat taken a back by some of the things that happened during child birth (and thereafter) and if I could go back in time I think I would like to know about them, so here they are:

1. Your waters breaking can be a little underwhelming. Now don’t get me wrong I wasn’t expecting a movie style floor soaking but I did expect to know it was happening. With my first baby I was sat 100 miles from home visiting family and I thought oh god I think I am having a wee on the sofa, I legged it to the toilet and sat there for a good 2-3 minutes having what I thought was a wee, a long one admittedly. I sat there thinking I know bladder control is bad when pregnant but this is embarrassing – I couldn’t put my leggings back on because I thought I’d wet myself. It did then start to dawn on me, OH SHIT I think my waters might have just broken. I really did mean oh shit as I didn’t have my maternity notes or hospital bag with me, everyone else was too pissed to drive and we were literally in the middle of no where. SHIIIIIIIT.

Zgasandair2. Pain relief is not a given. I was fully prepared to get myself drugged to the hilt during labour. I didn’t bother with a birth plan as I didn’t think it would be worth it, other than pain relief. Pain relief was my only birth plan. I was petrified about having to give birth. However when my time came, I didn’t even get a whiff of gas and air. We made it to the hospital with little more than 5 minutes to spare before baby 1 (and 2 for that matter) came to meet us.

3. You might lose your shit. As a general rule I thought I held it together pretty well during both my child births expect for a slight incident during labour number 2 (both were a grand total of two hours so it wasn’t exactly a big ask). I found myself in a doorway being wheeled to the delivery suite, with no less than 3 doctors, 3 midwives and 3 paramedics for an audience – I was 33 weeks and had been at the hospital for about 2 minutes after being rushed in by ambulance, I think I may have been a little overwhelmed. I knew the baby was coming and being wheeled down a corridor legs akimbo was just not working for me. Further despite knowing my baby was coming, imminently, I started to yell ‘I need the toilet, I need to get up, I need to get up now and I need to go to the toilet NOW’ and indeed like a knob I tried to get up off the bed ..‘umm no Sarah, you need to have your baby now’ the surprisingly calm midwife said to me and then my waters exploded everywhere and I had my baby on the assessment unit. Turns out she was right, who’d of thought it.

4. It burns. I spent my entire pregnancy stressing about the contractions they are after all the subject of the horror stories, but nobody really warned me about the bit that comes after the contractions – the pushing. This is a whole new world of pain. A friend of mine once described it as ‘imagine someone taking a blow torch and using it on your vagina‘. I am yet to find a more accurate description. It gets hot as hell down there. My midwife said to me after this delightful stage, ‘did the water that I poured on you help?’ hmm now let me see, did a cup of water put out the great fire of London? Nope didn’t think so. Ok so I didn’t actually say this to her as my midwife was way too lovely to deserve my snarky bite but as a mother of three you would think she would know better.

5. It ain’t over when its over. Having your baby is not the end of it – you will be injected, someone will most likely squeeze your boobs, you will give birth to the placenta, your contractions will continue for a few days even longer if you breastfeed and if you need stitches you’ll have someone with their head in between your legs for a lot longer than you care for. Oh and if you do need stitches be prepared to drop your pants and show them off to your midwife for a good 10 – 14 days after. It really is one of your finest moments.

6. The midwife will stalk you until she has inspected your first wee. You will have to wee into a small cardboard bed pan and your midwife will hover over you until you have done so and she has had a good look at it. To this day I don’t know why they do it, I have no doubt there is a very good reason but still, it’s a little weird. That and you will be constantly asked if you have had a poo yet, that will be the last thing you feel like doing, trust me.

image7. You would do it all again in a heartbeat. Labour can at times be quite horrendous, it is painful, scary, exhausting and emotional but as mums we are a glutton for punishment and you wouldn’t just do it all over again you may even want to do it again. I did.

8. Childbirth – that’s the easy bit!

Mummuddlingthrough

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday


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35 thoughts on “8 things I wish I knew before going to Labour

  1. Oh yes, I was nodding all the way through this! Right down to the short labour, far from the hospital with a prem baby.Yes, the suturing is worse than the labour, yes we can become pretty adamant about what we do or don’t want in the heat of the moment – yes, yes, yes! And with a dose of humour too! Only we don’t have to have our wee inspected here in NZ, I hope we’re not missing out on some important assessment 😉

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    1. Hmm that’s a little worrying I was sure there was some medically sound reason for having my wee inspected…your midwives clearly thought better of it, can’t say I blame them – it ain’t pretty!! Glad to hear I’m not alone with my labour escapades, clearly in good company, thanks for sharing!

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    1. Nothing like a cold dose of reality on a wet and windy morning! I did wonder if sharing might scare future mums a little too much… But hey I went for it anyway.. Hopefully haven’t jeopardised the future of man kind too much…

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  2. Brilliant. Couldn’t agree more. I was absolutely not prepared for any of it and was totally disgruntled by the whole affair first time around. I also was not prepared for how difficult it would be to go to the loo afterwards?? I am sure that I can still see nail marks up my bathroom wall haha. Fantastic post and I wish I’d read it before having my first. Dawn x #coolmumclub

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    1. Yeah I felt pretty violated for a good few weeks after! It was everything that came after that really got me – all the focus about ‘after’ is always on the baby whilst Mum is left in the corner trying to sit down without whimpering … Thanks for your comment xx

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  3. I loved reading this! My first labour was absolutely nothing like I expected for different reasons. I’m expecting my second now so will be doing it all over again in 10 weeks- eek! #coolmumclub

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  4. I spent far too much of my pregnancy concerned about poop. There is nowhere else for it to go. I also wish someone had told me (close your eyes first time pregnant ladies) you bleed like The Ganges afterwards. Those pregnancy pads are the size of matresses for a reason.

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    1. Oh my god I freaked out when the midwife told me I would need two packets of those pads just for my hospital bag! But at least I was forewarned! And yeah I’m with you in the poop front, many an hour spent fretting about that! Oh it’s so glamorous!

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  5. So true and yet I loved my labour as crazy as that sounds! I think I had built it up to be so horrendous in my head that the reality wasn’t as bad. I laboured well and dealt with the pain better than I expected to! #CoolMumClub

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  6. This is fabulous!! And all true!! I was totally with you on the whole ‘pain relief was my only birth plan’ part!!!!! Scary for you that your labours were too quick to have any. Mine were 28 hours, and 15 hours. The first ended in an epidural when I told the midwife I’d rather be dead than deal with it anymore. The second time, all the major hospitals in my city were full to labouring mums. The only bed was in a hippy natural birthing centre. Because I didn’t want to go too far away from my existing child, I went there… And there was only gas and air… By the end I’d totally lost my shit! Screaming, swearing, the whole works!!! And I had to bite my own arm for about a month afterwards when I peed, to stop myself screaming… Jesus, giving birth is bloody awful!!!!!!
    #coolmumclub

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    1. Oh my goodness 15 and 28 hours your poor thing and with only gas and air, I’m so not surprised you lost your shit – I would have. Urgh that first wee is horrendous – the should be one to add to the list! X

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      1. I actually found the after pains worse than the contractions after baby number 5! I started to panic that there was another baby in there about to come out!! 😂😂😂

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  7. Great post, and so well captured! I actually laughed out loud at the blow torch comment LOL. I was lucky enought to get pain relief so was lucky enough not to experience that delight, but I can definitely relate to most of the posts before that one – fond memories, not! ;-). Emily #Coolmumclub

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    1. Oh yes such a pleasant time for all lol! Yes, bypassing the blow torch stage is a blessing, I imagine it’s still bloody knackering with or without pain relief though! Thanks for your comment ☺️ xx

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  8. Ha ha, I’ve just posted up something similar, but I was ‘told off’ by a fellow blogger for putting off pregnant people. Ah, they NEED to know these facts. They’ll thank us afterwards 🙂 xx

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    1. Hmm well what do they think is going to happen, they’ll be licked by kittens? Everybody knows it’s a rough ride we are simply elaborating on it. And yes they will, knowledge is power and all that 😊. I’ll look forward to checking out your post and see what you made of the whole thing 😊 X

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  9. But you look so gorgeous there with your baby! The answer to the wee question is you can get urinary retention after childbirth so not being able to wee or not weeing very much could be a sign. Plus we have to tick a box and record the amount on a piece of paper to make sure we check no-one’s in retention. Amount of women I’ve known to have urinary retention over the 12 years I’ve been a midwife? I can count them on one hand. #KCACOLS

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    1. Thank you! I was so hoping someone would be able to answer the wee question so thank you! I’m knew there would be a good reason I just didn’t know what it was, and hey better to be safe than sorry and all that! Thank you for your comment x

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  10. Love this! I’m the first of the ‘gang’ to have a baby and everyone keeps asking me for the realities of labour… but I had an emergency section before my waters even broke so I still have no idea, lol. I shall have to send them your way 🙂 #KCACOLS

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    1. Ah yes I’m the first of my gang too, one of the gang is now pregnant and I’m not sure this made great time bed reading lol but I think everyone knows it’s not exactly a walk in the park… I’ve never had a c section but I’m told that’s not exactly overly pleasant either, especially afterward when it comes but bending and lifting! Whichever way labour is exactly that lol X

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  11. Haha! Yes, it’s never what you expect! The midwives told me that the wee checking was to check there was enough wee & also that nothing concerning about the bleeding. I was even made to do it with my second, who came so quickly she was born at home with paramedics – nonetheless, several hours later in hospital, I had to wee in the cardboard pot, though it was not my first wee at all! #KCACOLS

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    1. Wow that must have been quick and at home that must have been scary! I always thought it was to do with the bleeding, but obviously not, you learn something knew everyday ey. Thanks for your comment xx

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  12. Oh wow even as a mom of two I I never experienced any of this, so I found this very enlightening. I really do take my hat off to you brave mommies who are able to have a natural birth. With Ella after being induced for a couple of days I ended up having an emergency c-section, and with Holly we had a planned c-section which was more relaxed. Xx #KCACOLS

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    1. Ah that must be nice knowing when you’re going to have your baby! Although I’ve not had a c section I’m told it’s not exactly a walk in the park especially afterward with the bending and lifting, and not being able to drive! And all this with a newborn in tow, hats off to all new mummy’s!! X

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